The night sky suddenly turn to bright,
for the lightning paint it into white.
Like what you thought a true love in your past side,
it move in a speed of light.
Yet it won’t stop your eyes from opening wide,
even in the middle of the night.
I scared, I cried.
I choose to hide.
And I refuse to find out.
FUCK!
FUCK YOU BITCH!!
WHAT THE HELL THAT YOU REALLY WANT FROM ME!?
FUCK YOU LIAR!!
MAY YOU BURN IN HELL!!!
Hitung nafas yg terasa berat.
Ku kan sakit dan pergi, tanpa waktu yg pasti.
Melawan hati yang tak pernah padam dan hilang.
Kuucapkan maaf berharap kumasih mampu ada di sini.
Sayangnya aku bukan seorang pengecut brengsek.
I wish tho.
“Hobbes: Is it alright to remain ignorant?
Calvin: I don’t know, but I refuse to find out.” (Calvin and Hobbes, by Bill Waterson)
Yes, ignorance is a bliss.
I love living in a bliss,
atleast for now.
-according to my very last post-
Wish I have that sense of what he (Mitch Albom) called ’spiritual security’.
It’s just hard to believe, to feel secure.
Maybe I just need to wait for that ’someone’, to bring me, teach me back about it, once again.
*crossfingers*
This is a part of what a family is about, not just love, but letting others know there’s someone who is watching out for them. It’s what I missed so much when my mother died -what I call your ’spiritual security’- knowing that your family will be there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not Fame.
Morrie Schuwartz in Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom, 1997
There they are, stands as a dream. Dream that lift us up, yet broke our heart. Still, that dream keep going on all of this years, and maybe, there would be nothing that could change the history, just like it did before.
Rolling Stone Indonesia on Why The Beatles Broke Up (The Inside Story), Sept. 2009
Lucu yah, melihat cara Tuhan mendewasakan manusia, dengan cara membuat mereka kelelahan.
Dan ketika mereka sudah sangat lelah, mereka seolah menyesal akan apa yang sudah Tuhan berikan pada mereka saat itu.
Sebenarnya mungkin mereka tidak menyesal, hanya saja tidak ada istirahat yang lebih baik dari mengakui kekurangan yang di miliki diri manusia sendiri.
Paling tidak itu menurut ku.
Kelebihan memiliki tanggung jawab, maka dari itu manusia terkadang lelah, dan lebih memilih kekurangan mereka sebagai jalan pintas untuk istirahat. Sekali lagi, bukan untuk menyesalinya.
Lebih lucunya lagi, ketika di puncak kelelahan tersebut, ketika kita menampikkan kelebihan dan mengagungkan kekurangan kita, kita berharap untuk sekalian saja kembali ke masa lalu.
Kembali ke masa di mana kelebihan kita saat ini akan terlihat bagai mimpi.
Kembali ke masa tersebut, di mana dengan kelebihan yang kita dapat saat itu, tanggung jawab yang kita emban tidak terasa sebegitu beratnya.
Entah karena para sahabat, cinta yang naif, atau karena mimpi-mimpi dan harapan yang menjulang tinggi belum tersentuh realita. Mungkin semuanya. Mungkin juga tidak sama sekali.
Mungkin ini hanya diriku saja. Merasa tidak puas akan diri sendiri dan menyesalinya. Merasa dewasa dan cemas akan tanggung jawabnya.
Mungkin.
Aku pun tidak yakin.
Mungkin aku hanya lelah, dan butuh istirahat.
Lebih baik begitu.
I seated ugliness on my knee, and almost immediately grew tired of it. (Salvator Dali)
I don’t count on other people. Its dangerous. Make use of them in a propriate way is whole lot better. Sad not many understands. *bastard*
Funny this feeling hurt me this deep. Lost my tongue, my head, and my friend, only for thing that only few who cares. Now? I’m just a guinea pig, trapped in a moving treadmill, asking for a break. Still, anybody care? No one. Even to scream “FUCK YOU ALL!” seems so useless and embarrassing. Hhh.. Forgive all my faults then, to all of you. Never meant any harm at all. It was just me. Alone.
wow new post after all uh? haha
“Love is a contradiction. Love is a paradox. It is both tangible and intangible. It is full of life. Love is life.”
Love is a state of conscious condition where you are voluntary willing to share everything you have got, and need only one thing to be shared, and work as your own individual achievement, their happiness. It is the highest passion state of condition, where we happily willing to serve happiness to someone else that significant in your life, just because we wanted to.
Love mostly misinterpreted as a goal, but it isn’t, it doesn’t demanding. It is a concept of a state of condition, which means, there should be no expectation, or hope that you have, of that significant other, left as a requirement in ourselves.
It is a state, where usually people feels like there is a chemical reaction happen suddenly in their stomach, every time that significant other are near you. Like a real chemical reaction, you need to have 2 kind of chemical, in this case, two persons, you and the person you care about, with both traits, temperaments, characteristics, and personalities almost-exactly compared and measured. Those comparisons, and those measurements, work only as guidance, not as requirements, so you won’t fall easily. It is all simply because, love is free, requires nothing to be made, once again, it is not a goal. Love absolutely cannot be use as a reason to owning someone else, it is because, happiness, as both gegenstand and by-product of love, requires freedom, as it basic needs.
Love is a learning process, where inside it, we learn to accept that significant other, the way they are. We learn to tolerate them, so in the end, we can learn how to forgive their mistakes, because of their understandable reason. Both of you grow with love, so does love, in a relationship. You learn from love, and love, is the one that you gave meaning with your significant other, and from that meaning, then you can build happiness together. But learning is not always happy process, sometimes it hurts. For that reason, it is true that love is painful, but somehow, it is a suffer-free state of condition. How come? Well, it is possible, that you hate someone, and love him, or her in the same time. You hate him, or her, simply because he or she, literally makes you feel vulnerable, makes you feel dependent somehow, but in the way that didn’t make you lose yourself. But for all those reason, you thanked that person. Instead of running away, you become more bounded with that person, you cherish on every moment, every time that person makes you feel those feelings. And for all those reason, you are fall in love. Usually, this kind of thought is likely to be unthinkable, it is kind a hard to realize it, blinded by the ambiance of happiness from that loving moment you have with that person you love. But sometimes, there is several persons who can realize it, and for those who success to realize it, usually find themselves in a condition where, sadly, everything is just come too late. But it is happens always for a reason, somehow, someway, we didn’t always now it, but for sure, don’t regret it. It is our chance to learn, so we won’t fall easily next time. See how magnificent love is? Even when it disappoints you, somehow, someway, it still makes you stronger.
Some says love is destined. How come it could be destined? What is destiny anyway? Destiny is defined as a story that already written, about what going to be happens in our life. It is not said, who choose which story to happen. It is ourselves who choose what kind of life we want to have, what kind of destiny we will to accept. It is changeable, as long as you live your life with full awareness on every second of it. It is cannot be guess, and undeniable. Sometimes, you can meet your destiny, in a road you choose to avoid it. All you need to do is to accept it, and from that point, create. Back to our main topic, love, we can take a conclusion now that, it is not quiet proper to say that, love is destined. For me, destiny is the bridge between you, and the one you love. It is not God who built the bridge, but He gave us the ability to build it. It is our duty to accomplish it, to build that bridge, that destiny, your destiny. It is also to make the person you care, willing to take a risk to help you finish, and finally cross that bridge, so both of you can enjoy the same destiny. Yes, we are the one who have to build the destiny that we choose, to change mine, into ours, love.
From this point of view, thou shall find out, about the imperfectness condition, how pradox, how confusing love can be. Then the question is, is it beautiful? Is it worthed to fight for? Then I’ll answer, “Yes, it is worthed!”. To see the happiness of someone that you love is the highest pleasure you’ll ever get in your lifespan. And to have know that, he or she loves you back, is the most revealing, most happiest feelings, emotion, condition, compare with any other state of condition during our immortal life. For these reason, I can assure you, for couple who is already find out that for them, love is more than enough, their happiness is beyond the materiil world. It is turn into a quest, a journey, to meet a spiritual imateriil kind of happiness, but still in a realistic measured indicators, but only them who have, who understand the indicators. For the journey itselves, it is more than beautiful they’ve said, “It is heaven”.
Here we can draw a simple conclusion, that it is like the life itselves,the beauty of love is laid in its process, journey, in every fight we made, and in every way we choose to feel it, to embrace it. Is it magnificent, how love, like life itselves, evolve? Even when the subject you love is gone, love itselves can’t be that easy to dissappear. Turn out, it evolve into different context, from condition into a strange attractor, called memory. Beautiful isn’t? Well, this is my opinion about love. How about yours?
saskhyaauliaprima 2:20 pm on January 6, 2010 Permalink |
and maybe you got to be more relax darla hahaha